


Lingo

by Inumaru12



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Established Relationship, HE WANTS THE D, Humor, I love this prompt, M/M, Older! Pines Twins, Sexual innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 21:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inumaru12/pseuds/Inumaru12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from tumblr.  Bill doesn't know much human lingo so when he hears about 'The D', he thinks that it's just a really cute nickname so he calls Dipper it and going around saying "I want the D!" to Dipper eternal embarrassment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingo

**Author's Note:**

> I freaking loved this prompt so much that I had to put this as a single story by itself. I literally cried from laughing for so long when I read this prompt like holy crap. Anon, you are freaking great, thank you so much for this beautiful prompt!!!

Everything was still very new to Bill. He knew lots of things, many, many, things in fact, but there were still some things that were just out of his depth. One thing that he had a hard time with was his new human body. It was weird and he was suddenly so tall and lanky and it was fun to learn how to move it but it was also annoying at times. But he got used to it.

One thing he couldn't comprehend though was the lingo that the younger generations used. Some of the inside jokes that teenagers used just flew over his head. Half the time Bill had no idea what Mabel ever talked about. Whenever a spew of indecipherable nonsense came out of her mouth the demon-in-a-human-body looked at Dipper for translation. The teen, though he was more of a young man now that he would be turning eighteen soon, would sigh but explain if he knew what she was going on about. Other times he would shake his head and tell Bill that he wasn't going to explain. So Bill shrugged and let it go...most of the time.

Sometimes he tried to listen to the teenagers who came into the Mystery Shack and try to figure out what exactly they were saying. One day in particular was actually pretty enlightening.

 

"Dylan!" A girl not that much older then Dipper or his sister hissed at the teen with her. "Stop fooling around! You're gonna break something and then I'm gonna have to pay for it!"

 

"Aw, stop hatin' on me; I'm just foolin' around." The teen boy slurred as he turned over one of the ornaments in his hands.

 

"...Dear God, could you not talk like that in public it is so embarrassing!" The poor girl groaned and turned away with her hand over her face.

 

"You're just bitchin' cuz your boyfriend isn't givin' you the 'D'!"

 

Bill wasn't sure what exactly the 'D' was, but it definitely caught his attention.

 

The girl's face turned an very interesting shade of red and she gave a positively vile glare at the boy.

"I swear, Dylan, if you don't fucking stop right now and put that down-with out breaking it!!- I will tell mom just how her computer really got infected with a virus. What do you think she'll believe: that you got a random virus from a study help site or from BustyAsians?" The girl hissed to the boy in what was quiet to normal humans, but to Bill who had some advantages to his meat bag called a body, heard it perfectly well.

The boy, who was a pale white before, turned even more white then BIll thought was natural for humans. The girl grabbed a few more things and gave it to Bill to ring up. Once he was done, he gave his customary 'thank you, come again' and his eyes lit up when he noticed that the boy who was hurriedly putting something behind some books on a shelf.

 

"Hey kid," Bill spoke to the kid who quickly jumped and turned towards him.

 

"I didn't break anything!" He instantly denied, sweat beginning to drip off the side of his face as he looked to where his sister had gone.

 

Bill waved an hand at that, not caring in the slightest.

 

"Yeah, whatever. But tell me, what you said before; what did it mean?" He leaned forward, eager.

 

"Huh?" The boy's stupid look on his face and even stupider language nearly made Bill grind his teeth before he flashed a fake smile at the simpleton.

 

"That word, or rather, letter. You said she didn't have enough 'D'? What does that mean?"

 

Now the guy was looking at him like he was the stupid one. Bill refused to shift uncomfortably; just because there was something that this guy knew and he didn't he refused!

He moved his weight onto the other foot. Damn it!

 

"Are you serious?" The guy asked. "You don't look that old that you don't know what it means."

 

Bill twitched; his age was a rather sore subject for him after all. Fire burned at the tip of his fingers and he had to hold it back. If for any reason, simply because Dipper would hate to have another dead body to try and explain to the cops.

 

"Well," The guy continued on without any knowledge that this could possibly be the last conversation of his life. "It's short for, y'know." 

 

The guy did a cupping motion with his hand and in return Bill just tilted his head to the side in confusion. The guy looked exasperated and finally leaned forward.

 

"It's D, short for D-"

 

"Dylan! Get your fat ass over here or I am leaving you here in this hick town, so help me God!" The boy's sister screeched from the door, making several customers, along with Bill, wince in pain.

 

"God, Aimee, I'm coming, jeez!!" The guy turned and left, without giving a full answer.

 

Bill sighed, annoyed as he pondered over what it could mean.

 

"So it's short for something..." He muttered to himself as he tried to figure it out. "D...The guy's name was Dylan and that starts with a D right...Aha! So it just be a nickname!"

 

Bill grinned, feeling very accomplished. Sure it was a strange thing but he didn't really think twice of it. Humans were strange creatures after all. Whistling a jaunty tune, he went back to work.

 

** XxXxXxXx **

 

Dipper was currently in the kitchen trying to make himself dinner. Trying was the best thing to call it as his sister was bugging him so much that he couldn't even focus on making a simple sandwich.

 

"C'mon! It'll be fun!" Mabel pleaded from where she sat on the kitchen counter. She kicked her legs back and forth, watching her ankle long skirt go up and down.

 

"No thanks. I really don't want to go to karaoke with you or your friends. Besides, I think Bill wants to go out on a date anyway." Dipper replied, his cheeks only turning red a bit.

 

"Bleh," Mabel stuck her tongue out. "You guys stopped being cute so long ago. Anyway, you guys always go out! And you never hang out with me!"

 

"Mabel, just this past week I just went to the movies with you, we went down to lake and built sandcastles and went swimming, we went trekking through the woods looking for creatures, and we just snuck into Gravity Falls General and stole some blood for your vampire friends." Dipper recited all of that with a old sort of wisdom and patience that one gets with being Mabel's sister.

 

"UUUUGGH!" Mabel groan and slid off the counter. "That is barely anytime at all! Come on Dip, we need to spend as much time together before I head off to college! Since you're gonna stay here and take over the shop, we're gonna have even less time together!"

 

The young woman folded her arms and Dipper sighed and put down his knife.

 

"Mabel, stop it." He said firmly.

 

"What?"

 

"You're trying to guilt me into going to college again."

 

"Wha-? Me? Moi? No way! Why would I do such a thing? It's not like I have a bunch of brochures or colleges in my suitcase or anything. Nope. Not me!" Mabel stuck her her finger in her hair and twirled it around, trying her best to look innocent.

 

"We've talked about this. Mom and Dad are fine with me staying here and helping, why can't you? Besides, Grunkle Stan is getting old. Well, older then he already is. I'd like to be here for him and help in anyway I can." Dipper spoke with just a bit of tiredness in his tone, turning away slightly. This conversation had been had many times.

 

Mabel just sighed and hugged her brother from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder.

 

"I know. I'm just gonna miss you. We haven't been apart for so long since you went on that week long geek trip of yours." Mabel grinned when she heard Dipper chuckle.

 

"Yeah, and we kept texting each other so much that we ended up going past our monthly text limits by triple and dad went through the roof."

 

The two were quiet, just enjoying the sibling bonding before they pulled away.

 

"I'll miss you too Mabel. Just remember that I-" Whatever sentimental thing Dipper was going to say was interrupted when Bill came bursting through the doors.

 

"I'm freeeee!" He yelled gleefully. "The last of those horrible tourists are gone and now I can go on a date with my beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, boyfriend!" 

 

Bill threw his long and lanky arms around Dipper and hugged him close. Dipper didn't even let out a yell anymore before hugging his boyfriend back.

 

"Nu-uh Bill!" Mabel stepped in and took one arm of Dipper's and pulled him towards herself, making Dipper yelp with shock. "Dipper is going out with me tonight!"

 

Bill's eyes narrowed. "So sorry Shooting Star, but you've had him a lot this entire week while I've had him barely at all. I'm taking him." With a tug on Dipper's other arm, the young man was brought closer to him but Mabel wasn't giving up without a fight.

 

"He's my brother!"

 

"He's my boyfriend!"

 

"Brother trumps boyfriend!"

 

"Nu-uh sister!"

 

"Yes way, Jose!"

 

"Guys, these are my arms! This HURTS!"

 

"I want Dipper!"

 

"I want him more!"

 

"Dip is mine!"

 

"I want the D!"

 

It took a second but then Mabel suddenly let go; causing Dipper to go crashing into Bill, who used his crazy demon magic to stay upright, and then being held close by said demon. Mabel let out a choking sound.

 

"What did you call Dipper?" She asked in a strained sort of voice.

 

Bill perked up, glad to show off his amazing humanness to them.

"The D! Isn't it so simple? The nicknames you humans come up with, really! But it is pretty cute, isn't it?" Bill looked so pleased with himself that Mabel almost couldn't do what she was going to do next. Almost.

 

"So, you want the D, right?" She asked, her lips twitching.

 

Dipper, suddenly realizing where this is going through and the horrors of the memes his sister put him through, his face twisted in horror.

 

"Mabel, no!"

 

"Yes!" Bill replied sunnily, "I want the D!"

 

Mabel was quiet for only half a second before she broke down into laughter. It was loud and obnoxious laughter and she fell to her knees and in between laughter and trying to breath, she screamed out "HE WANTS THE D, HE WANTS THE D!!!"

 

That's the scene Grunkle Stan walked in on. Mabel on the ground in hysterics with tears running down her face as she began laughing soundlessly, Dipper holding his face in his hand completely mortified, and Bill standing there with a smile but having no idea why it was so funny to Mabel. Stan merely did a look over to make sure everyone was alright and then shaking his head and walking out.

 

"I don't want to know."

 

**Fin**


End file.
